depression carbonara☆

02 jun 2026

i think most people in the world have their own special pasta creation, something they made when the fridge was barren but that actually turned out kind of nice.

this is mine, but i'm pretty sure it was my mum's idea originally. it's like, not that bad, but the idea that it deserves a recipe page is a bit ridiculous. and yet.

for legal reasons, this is not a carbonara.

depression carbonara

serves 1; takes ~15 mins

ingredients

produce

• 120-150g, or a generous portion, of some friendy pasta shape. i like penne or wholewheat fusili.

• philadelphia cheese
• 1-3 chestnut mushrooms
• 2-4 slices of thick honey roast ham

seasonings

• black pepper
• salt
• contrition

vegetarian tip! if you can't eat ham, try my bacon mushrooms technique. when the mushrooms are cooked, add, not joking, a tiny drop of soy sauce, a tiny drop of honey, and a little salt. it's actually very yummy.

instructions

1. put the pasta on to boil. while it heats up, slice the mushrooms as thinly as you can be arsed. when the water boils, set a timer for 10 mins.
2. fry the sliced mushrooms on quite a high heat in a little oil or butter.
3. while the mushrooms are cooking, cut the ham slices into squares about 1-2cm across. you don't have to micromanage the mushrooms, it's best if they go a little crispy at the edges.
4. when the 10 mins is up, test the pasta. if it's cooked, drain it and then plop it back into the saucepan.
5. mix into the pasta:
   • the fried mushrooms
   • the chopped ham
   • 2 heaped tbsp philadelphia cheese
   • salt and pepper to taste
6. eat it i guess

comments? questions? leave a note or email me!☆